Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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