part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
