and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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