3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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