i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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