You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think I have vodka in my lungs
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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