this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
