Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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