When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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