If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
