Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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