you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
