i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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