i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
