census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
