on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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