i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
