I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
