Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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