I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
