dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
