She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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