at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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