In the future we'll all be gay
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
