i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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