My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
