He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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