Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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