so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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