I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
