I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
