i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
