I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You were trust falling into bushes
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
