last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
