Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
honey bunches of taint.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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