paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
