Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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