I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She announced her abortion via fbk
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize