so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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