Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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