The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize