I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
