clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
