Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
