oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
