i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
