I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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