I accidentally burped into my bong.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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