Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
