Your tits are I can't wait for
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
