we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
