some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
