Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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