Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
