She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
