I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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