3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
