I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
