She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
zippers are such a cool invention
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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